Hello my sweet darling! I cannot believe we are already at this point in pregnancy... you could be coming so soon and it is time to record all the fun little details of my pregnancy with you before I forget them during the sleepless newborn phase ;)
We have kind of always known that you would be our son... I found a little tiny metal sign that said "Zak!" and I'd held on to it for years.. I wanted a 4th child and your dad wasn't sure, but I knew I needed my Zak. Eventually, we were going to adopt and we were told it was a boy and thought that was our Zak, but it ended up being Eleanor. Then, we thought we were done having kids, but I would still get a little sad every month when I got my period. And then we had a wonderful surprise- you! I just knew that the Lord was giving us our Zak- the little boy I knew He had planned for me. There was hardly a doubt in my mind- I knew we would find out you were a boy at the ultrasound and there you were- so clearly a little man that we all laughed.
But, it took us a long time to decide on how to spell your name. I had kind of wanted Zachary with Zach as a nickname, but your daddy was not on board with that name and he agreed to Zacchaeus. The traditional spelling is hard and long and we kind of liked the shorter version of Zakeus, which also lined up better with the sign that the Lord had given me so many years ago. We finally made it official by giving your grandma a heart stone for her garden with all her grandkids names on it. Funny enough, your Tia Jess at the same time had ordered a little plant pot from the same company for your Abuelita with all her grandkids names on it and we haven't shared your name with them yet, but they know that your dad jokes about the middle name "Espiridion" which was his great-grandpa's name and has the nickname "Speedy" and she put that on the plant pot haha so she probably sealed the deal on that as your second middle name too ;) and then there is Allen after your Grandpa Rick! Zakeus Allen Espiridion Gonzalez. A bit lengthy, but I love it so much. I wonder if we will call you "Espi" or "Speedy" or the whole shebang when you're in trouble... hmm!
I haven't really had many cravings... early early on, I neeeeeded a meatball sub after walking a round of disc golf with your dad. I had to get home to relieve your grandma of babysitting duties, but was starving so was going to grab a Subway meatball sub first. The one close to Winco was out of meatballs... so I drove all the way out to the one by Target haha and it was delicious! I am really enjoying crushed ice this pregnancy (can be a sign of iron deficiency), but I wouldn't say it is a NEED like it was with Ezekiel. I have been taking beef liver and trying to eat more red meat to keep my iron levels up because they were for sure low at the start of this pregnancy.
We are working with a birth center this time around and I am very excited for it! We started there because there were still a lot of covid-19 restrictions in hospitals when I first got pregnant and I was not about to be forced to wear a mask while birthing a baby. We are so thankful to say that the mask requirement lifted on April 4th for medical settings and we no longer have to wear masks to appointments, etc. The birth center was going to let your dad and I just take a quick covid test and then we could be maskless if they were negative, but now we don't even have to worry about that- thank you, Lord! Your sisters also really want to be present at the birth and the hospitals still have lots of policies in place about only one person being allowed in the room with you for support, etc. So, we chose the birth center! And thank goodness- the nurses at the hospital we would have been on just went on strike this week to demand more humane practices sooo we would have had very short staff situations had we been going to the hospital. yikes! We have been very pleased with the birth center so far and are excited to experience a birth there and how it is different from a hospital birth!
This pregnancy has absolutely flown by. Probably because I am busy with 4 other kiddos ;) We found out in October sometime and your due date is 7/17 officially, but going from the night I know you came to be, I would say 7/16. I have felt really great for the most part this pregnancy- no sickness, no real discomfort beyond braxton hicks for the last few months, and even sleeping pretty well and not much constipation (thanks magnesium!). I have had a good amount of heartburn, so you will probably have a lot of hair haha. I also got really sick a few months ago- probably some variation of covid pneumonia. I could not stop coughing and coughing and eventually pulled some muscles in my ribs. I was in so much pain, I would start crying when I had to cough and the kids were so freaked out. I ended up going to the ER just to ensure I hadn't cracked a rib which they said they couldn't really do anything about anyway so they didn't even xray for it because I'm pregnant and all ha. I had to take some meds that aren't the best for pregnancy which was really upsetting and eventually ended up taking the antibiotic they prescribed because I just couldn't kick it. Your Ita was all over me to rest and it was kind of hard to really truly take it easy for a solid week. Your sweet Ita would come down once in a while and wash all our dishes and sweep our floor and was cooking for us- I could not have actually rested without her help! I had to because I could barely move without pain. I had to sleep on the couch sitting up because I couldn't lay down with the pressure on my ribs. I couldn't pick up your siblings, etc. it was a rough few weeks. But that was not due to the pregnancy ha so still counting it as an easy pregnancy :) I think I got so sick because I was so stressed out after the trial- that didn't even happen. The trial for your Abuelo was supposed to happen at the end of May and leading up to it there was so much emotional trauma and your dad was having a really hard time, etc. but then the trial got delayed until November and so it kind of felt like all of that stress melted away...which I was glad for because I know that the stress affects the fetus so much, but also sad for because I doubt I will be able to attend the trial now because I'll have an exclusively breastfeeding baby at the time. Anyway, it was Spring break and as soon as I had a week off from all the normal activities like Bible study and gymnastics my body said THAT'S ENOUGH and got super duper sick which turned into pneumonia and then led to the rib stuff... it was a lot! but I am thankful I had so much help and was able to recover and you stayed healthy through it all!
I have had to work through some trauma from my last birth where I had a pretty significant hemorrhage right after the placenta came out. A piece of placenta stayed inside which prompted my body to keep bleeding and then they had to do a cervical sweep, which was honestly worse than the birth itself. I am nervous about hemorrhaging again because this time there will be no pain meds to help with the pain of the cervical sweep and because I will have Jo&June in the room with me during your birth and I don't want them to feel any fear from that. I spent plenty of time researching and know that it is very unlikely to happen a second time- it was just a fluke, but I am still a little nervous. I know the midwives can give me a quick shot of pitocin and that should really take care of things so I can breathe easy- I just want everything all natural so we will play it by ear!
Your siblings are SO excited! They rub my belly all the time and talk to you- especially Zeke- he cannot wait to have a brother! They call you "Papi" because when we told the kids about you, you were just the size of a poppy seed and the nickname worked for a girl or a boy. I think the nickname will stick around for a while ;)
The midwives have actually only weighed me 2x this whole pregnancy and I don't even remember what I started at so I have no idea how much weight I have gained, which is awesome because I really believe that my body just knows what it is doing and if I'm listening to my hunger cues and cravings, my body will do its thing just how it needs to. The whole 25-35 lbs. is so much pressure to put on a pregnant woman! I haven't had any swelling and feel like I haven't gained much weight anywhere on my body except my belly! Your Abuelita keeps saying my tummy is so round- just like a giant basketball and that you can't even tell I am pregnant from the back. But turn me sideways and helloooo big belly! Grandma Sandee was laughing at my belly because it is so round haha. I went for a few mile walks every day for most of the first trimester and it was lovely! but as I got larger and things started picking up work wise for your dad, I stopped. I have had a lot of foot pain when I am really active because of the extra weight (my arches are super bad anyway, just exacerbated by the pregnancy) and that makes life in general hard so walking went out the window. I feel like I am super active all the time anyway though! I hardly sit during my days- between the laundry, the cooking and dishes, the grocery shopping, the bathing toddlers, the bedtime routine, the chickens and dog and cat and garden... it is a lot! I have been trying to outsource as much as possible to make this postpartum season easier. I have taught your sisters a lot about washing dishes and taking care of the chickens- and they really are the very best helpers! I also outsourced about half of our homeschooling for next year so I will have a morning a week with just my 3 littles at home and I am excited for that! I have lined up help from Grandma Sandee mostly since it is the busy season for the farm and for the golf business for your dad... she is going to come stay with us for hopefully 2 weeks after you arrive just to take care of the other kiddos and basic household stuff! And then we will be going to her house to spend every Friday night in August which helps your dad not feel the pressure of us being home alone every Saturday from 5am-8pm as it is his super busy day. I also spent just about all of my nesting energies on freezer meals- we are loaded and stocked for a solid 2 months of meals! We will hopefully have a meal train too from my mom's group friends! So, we are fairly well set up and supported and I hope it makes it manageable!
I am hoping that you will come in the daytime- when I visualize what I want, I would love for my labor to start up right after rest time and for you to be born that evening and get the girls home to bed that night! It would also give me the best amount of rest at the birthing center. All 3 of my other births have been middle of the night or super early morning, so we will see haha.
Anyway, that is pretty much it! Lots of life happening and I am sure it won't slow down anytime soon, but I am getting so excited to meet you and to melt into my little postpartum bubble of just soaking you up for a few weeks before we go back into the busy crazy life. I am having so many braxton hicks- at least 20+ a day and they are starting to feel stronger each day. I am also having a ton of pressure down there so I know you have dropped super low. I would not be surprised if you came more than a week early! I am actually a little nervous you are going to come before 38 weeks because we have a family wedding I really want to attend first haha. I love you already, little boy and I pray for you and your birth and your life every day. You are a JOY and a good good gift from the Lord and I cannot wait to meet you <3 <3 <3
Love, Mommy
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